


damn i need some coffee

by StariNights



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Coffee Shop, Humanstuck, M/M, eridan is an ass, sassy sol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-30
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2018-09-13 03:11:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9104146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StariNights/pseuds/StariNights
Summary: eridans having a shitty day, maybe some coffeeand solluxcan pull him out of itAka- me at six in the morning hyped up on coffee, I'm so sorry it's so shitty.





	

A boy about seventeen gets off his couch stretching and yawning, trying to get his back to pop, that little ball of misery is you. You spent all night trying to finish your paper that was due tomorrow that you didn’t even make to your bed you were so fuckin tired. Damn you needed some coffee. Good thing there’s a shitty starbucks not even a block away from your apartment. 

You put on your favorite blue scarf, those ~~stupid~~ fabulous striped hipster pants and a plain black sweater with a purple aquarius symbol on it. You gelled up your black and purple hair and studied your complexion. You were really pale with freckles dusting your face, god you hated those fuckin’ things. You grabbed your big ass hipster glasses and headed towards that shitty starbucks you thought about earlier. 

When you got there you were even more in need of coffee. You had decided to ride you bike there as to not waste gas (your dad had been getting on to you about that) but, like the sack of shit you are, you didn’t check the fuckin weather so you didn’t know it was gonna rain until you were in the middle of the fuckin tsunami. Then you dropped your fuckin laptop in a puddle when some punk tripped you and you’re terrified it won’t work and you aren’t gonna be able to finish that fucking paper that is due to-fucking-morrow! Damn you really need that coffee. 

You stomp over to the counter and take your laptop out of its holder, okay fuck, it’s wet, damn it. You dried it off with some napkins then turned it on, there was now a weird ass line through the middle of the screen. Thats. Just. Fuckin. Fabulous. 

You were so busy messin with you laptop that you didn’t see the barista standing right in front of you, that is until he knocked on the table.  
You jumped at the sudden noise, almost knocking your laptop off the bar “shit! W-what the hell asshole!”. He rolled his eyes and sighed, “are you gonna order, thomethin’?” holy fuck, he had a lisp, and a bad one. You suddenly felt less self-conscious about your stutter “oh, right, yeah. Um, i’ll hawe a large coffee w-with some wanilla creamer.” he nodded and went to the back. 

While he made your drink your worked on your paper, trying to ignore the fuckin’ line. He came back with your drink and you mumbled a thanks, concentrating to hard on this paper to really do anything else. At least it was quite in the cafe, there was only one other kid doing a animal puzzle in the corner. 

You noticed the barista was still standing there in front of you, leaning against the counter. “May i help you?” that wa sorta rude but fuck it. “No” what the hell, why was he still there? You groaned and went back to ignoring the rest of the world. 

 

eridan⇒ be the weird barista!

 

You are now the weird barista! Your name is Sollux Captor, and you are bored out of your fuckin’ mind. The new guy is fun to mess with though, he kept glancing over to see if you were still looking, you were. You looked over to see what was on his computer, he shut it half way and glared at you, you shrugged. “I know how to fixth that.”

He looked confused “w-what?” you pointed to the laptop, “this line through the middle of your thcreen.” he just stared at you, “w-would you?” “no.” he narowed his eyes “then shut the fuck up!”

You shrugged “wow, rude much.” he ignored you, stabbing at the keys like they killed his family. “Might not want to do that.” you mixed yourself some coffee “and w-why not?” he didn’t even look up. “You’ll break off the keyth you hipthter athhole” he shut his computer “you fuckin’ suck at your job you know-w” you shrugged “eh, don’t rat me out and it won’t matter” he tried to keep a straight face, but failed miserably and laughed, damn, he has a cute laugh.

Wait.

What did you just say?

Nope, just gonna ignore that little thought.

He seemed more open now, and he started talking “ok asshole, you obwiously suck w-with people, w-why the hell w-would you w-work here?” his stutter was cute too. Oh shit. No shoo! Get outta here Gay thoughts! You shrugged, ignoring the war against gay thoughts ~~that you were losing~~ in your mind. “Money.” he nodded “oh, ok. So, you like minecraft?” he asked pointing to your shirt “hell yeth i do” he smiled “heh, same, uh, w-wanna play later?” hell. Fucking. Yes. “uh, thure, what’th your uther name?” you got an order ticket and a pen to write it down. “caligulasAquarium" you paused “how the fuck do you thpell that?” he groaned and snatched the pen a paper out of your hand. Fuckin’ rude. He wrote it down and handed it to you. He paid for his order and left with his laptop ~~and your heart~~

After that day, the hipster asshole who you learned name is Eridan came in to visit you more, sometimes he’d complain about fuckers at school, sometimes you two would just talk about video games, but no matter what he left a tip and came back the next day, to be honest, you think his daily visits make you job enjoyable. You learned a lot about him, like he was on the swim team, he liked history, he liked seahorses, which you thought was cu- cool, yeah that's what you meant (you’ll never catch me gay thoughts) you both went to the same school, even having math together, but since you were antisocial and he was an ass who not many people talked to, you had never crossed paths. 

You and him started hanging out at school and out of this dumbass coffee shop. He introduced you to his sister Feferi and you introduced him to your best friend Karkat, you all had a sorta group. Then a girl named Aradia joined, bringing her boyfriend Equis and his best friend Nepeta. Who brought her friend Terezie, who brought her friend Vriska. Making what was once your small group of four, nine.

Today Eridan came into the shop with Nepeta, she was really giddy. Fuck. That’s never a good sign. They both sat at the counter and you went over to get their order. “Hey guyth, what can i get ya?” “i’ll have a hot coco my good furriend!” you turned to eridan “and you ED?” “nofin.” he was quite, too quite. You went and made Nepeta her hot chocolate and sat down on the counter beside them. “Tho guyth, what up?” nepeta stared expectantly at Eridan for a really fuckin long time before elbowing him in the side “ow-w! Okay okay i’ll tell ‘em!” “tell me what?” he rubbed the back of his neck and mumbled something under his breath “what?” this time you caught a “w-will” and “w-with” and that was only because of his stutter. Nepeta was obviously done with his shit and groaned “he said will you go on a date with him!” good thing you weren’t drinking your coffee or you would have just spit it out. Eridan was hiding his face in his scarf. You didn’t know what to say, you mean, he was an asshole, rich prick, annoying, lil’ shit. He flew off the handle for no reason, when he got mad will use anything and everything against you, he once almost drowned someone because they called him a fag……

But…….

When he laughs it lights up the room, he gives the nicest hugs, his hair is super soft and fun to play with, when he gets nervous he plays with the end of his scarf, he liked seahorses and video games, he got you a giant ass bee plushie once to say sorry when he ruined one of your codes and when he was scared he’d hide his face in his scarf like he was doing now….

fuck.

“thure.” he looked up at you, he looked confused as fuck “y-yeah, i-i would l-love to” you jumped down from your seat on the counter and he hugged you, burying his face in the crook of your neck, you hugged him back, smiling, you heard Nepeta squealing and you think she said “now kiss” but you ignored her. 

writer⇒ happily ever fuckin after

Gladly.


End file.
